My MS Story

  I feel like a fraud that is somehow scamming the system.   It is as if I went to a loan shark to gamble with my health and in turn my life.   I fear that Bubba and Guido will be coming to collect very soon on this massive debt that I owe.   It feels like at any moment MS will pound on my door causing a life-changing and earth-shaking rumble.   This foul beast could come any day now to collect and leave me with very little if anything. Let me tell you why I feel this way.   You may have read the blog series that I posted called “My Untold MS Story.”   If you have read these blogs, then you know the depths of darkness where years ago I was imprisoned.   I have come back from this dark place that no human should ever be.   I lived and can tell the story like a bee doing a dance telling of possible pollen prosperity. I currently sit here as a survivor of several tremendous accomplishments for any MSer.   I have conquered th...

My perpetual pushing produced problematic MS issues after this swim.   I say “my” because I did this to myself so I have no one to blame but me.   I must live with these punishing consequences for not backing down from this fight.   Some may call these problems exacerbations yet no matter what you call them they are truly taxing for everyday life. First, I have had a significant increase in leg muscle spasms.   As I climb into bed, my legs begin to jump.   Before this swim, a leg spasm for me was relatively mild and might only be a shake.   Now, these spastic legs look like a baby rattle in the hands of a baby hopped up on Red Bull.   I try to stop my antagonistic appendages by grasping them tightly with my hands.   Occasionally that procedure works until something sets them off again.   Thankfully this “shake rattle and roll” only lasts for a few minutes before I doze off. Second, there have been those rare occasions that I go to...

We all remember that song that says “the knee bone is connected to the leg bone. The leg bone is connected to the hip bone.”   This simple song is a reminder to us all.   It tells us that our body parts collectively work together to make our every movement happen.   This melody explains that when one muscle has an issue, it will impact other parts of our body as well. Temperature consistency is a difficult thing to find here in central Ohio.   It is especially elusive in the spring and fall season in the outside thermometer.   The ever-changing weather this time of year does not make life easy for me.   Temperature swings are so drastic that you need a coat in the morning then shorts and a t-shirt by lunch.   These spastic swings on the thermometer put my body into a rapid tailspin at any given moment.     For energy savings, my thermostat drops significantly at night.   The bothersome part is that this nighttime tem...

Update number one My life with multiple sclerosis has been ever changing.  Five years ago I did not have the arm strength to get out of even a wet paper bag.  This weakness did not allow me to maneuver in and out of a simple sedan without great struggle.  I lacked the know-how and the skills needed to transfer to and from my wheelchair and a car correctly.  Sadly car manufacturers still have not accepted my idea of a slingshot device for help with this.  This mechanism would shoot me into an SUV from my wheelchair. A catchers-mitt would help catch me on my way out.   At that time the only vehicle that I physically could enter and exit easily was a small SUV.  It was because my legs could hold my body-weight steadily.  I merely stand next to the SUV grab the handle above the passenger side window.  Holding the handle, I simultaneously hop up and pull.  This procedure would land my rump on the seat where I physically grab my legs a...

Having to say those dreaded words: “table for one please” is the worst feeling in the world.   The issue of romance and MS has been a significant topic of discussion for an extremely long time.   I have never done a blog on the subject because like a schoolgirl watching a horror movie I fear it.    Since I am as confused as most on the topic of love I thought I would discuss it from my perspective.       The meaning of love is subjective.   I have seen arranged marriages or even people who wed out of convenience.   Both couples say that they genuinely love each other.   I have heard some couples say that they eventually came to love their significant other.   I also saw someone who was asked if they love their spouse and this person just said “sure.”   Neither of the last two examples sounds like love to me, but who am I to judge.    The idea of love for those of us with many medical conditions i...