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Showing posts from November, 2018

I am sorry…

  I feel like a fraud that is somehow scamming the system.   It is as if I went to a loan shark to gamble with my health and in turn my life.   I fear that Bubba and Guido will be coming to collect very soon on this massive debt that I owe.   It feels like at any moment MS will pound on my door causing a life-changing and earth-shaking rumble.   This foul beast could come any day now to collect and leave me with very little if anything. Let me tell you why I feel this way.   You may have read the blog series that I posted called “My Untold MS Story.”   If you have read these blogs, then you know the depths of darkness where years ago I was imprisoned.   I have come back from this dark place that no human should ever be.   I lived and can tell the story like a bee doing a dance telling of possible pollen prosperity. I currently sit here as a survivor of several tremendous accomplishments for any MSer.   I have conquered these mountains while my MS brothers and sisters su

The Causation…

My perpetual pushing produced problematic MS issues after this swim.   I say “my” because I did this to myself so I have no one to blame but me.   I must live with these punishing consequences for not backing down from this fight.   Some may call these problems exacerbations yet no matter what you call them they are truly taxing for everyday life. First, I have had a significant increase in leg muscle spasms.   As I climb into bed, my legs begin to jump.   Before this swim, a leg spasm for me was relatively mild and might only be a shake.   Now, these spastic legs look like a baby rattle in the hands of a baby hopped up on Red Bull.   I try to stop my antagonistic appendages by grasping them tightly with my hands.   Occasionally that procedure works until something sets them off again.   Thankfully this “shake rattle and roll” only lasts for a few minutes before I doze off. Second, there have been those rare occasions that I go to bed and do not get these Jurassic jerks.  

This change is uncomfortable…

We all remember that song that says “the knee bone is connected to the leg bone. The leg bone is connected to the hip bone.”   This simple song is a reminder to us all.   It tells us that our body parts collectively work together to make our every movement happen.   This melody explains that when one muscle has an issue, it will impact other parts of our body as well. Temperature consistency is a difficult thing to find here in central Ohio.   It is especially elusive in the spring and fall season in the outside thermometer.   The ever-changing weather this time of year does not make life easy for me.   Temperature swings are so drastic that you need a coat in the morning then shorts and a t-shirt by lunch.   These spastic swings on the thermometer put my body into a rapid tailspin at any given moment.     For energy savings, my thermostat drops significantly at night.   The bothersome part is that this nighttime temperature is too cold for a bed sheet alone.   However,